Becoming a single dad was one of the most traumatic events of my life. I did not want the divorce, I fought against the divorce, and ultimately I agreed to collaborative divorce and was taken to the cleaners by an ex who decided to go for the “divorce package” rather than honor our 50/50 shared parenting agreement.
Slowly but surely, with patience and grace, I will be in relationship again. Months from now, a year from now, I hope to be writing you again about "the love of my life." Heck if you don't believe it, how will you ever get there.
That's what we want. Ascendant love. Moving ever higher together. Fearlessly attacking the discord as it arrives unwelcome and unbidden. And we move through it with the other person, knowing they are going to stick around.
I need to learn to listen when the woman says, "I am really not looking to be in a relationship."
Relationships are fun. And now that we have our kids and our independence, we can be more intentional and clear about what we want in our next relationship. It doesn't have to be about marriage, but can be more about learning to love and feel loved again.
Let's take the darkness in our own lives and forge wonderful lives, wonderful relationships, and wonderful children. We can do this. I have done it. I am doing it every single day. You can do it as well.
Men are animals. Women are less-than-truthful. You might be better served to work on your lifestyle and fitness more than your online dating profile.
Let's be clear with each other about what we want, what we fantasize about, and what we do not want. Only with that data can we make better and more informed decisions about where to go in our partnership.
I could lose myself again, and miss the disconnects that ultimately derailed both my marriages. And whether I get married again or not, is not even relevant. All I have is this time, this moment, and today I am happily plodding along, in spite of the beauty trap