Relationships take a lot of work. Dating, online dating, and courtship all have one goal, to give us a Relationship to thrive in. It is hard to find a healthy, attractive, and willing partner. When you do, what happens next is the most important part. I work on relationship-building as a skill set. How can I be a better partner? How can I say with this person for life?
Get over yourself and your amazing story. Unwrap their magic. Ask for their ideas. Provide space and quiet for their responses.
If enthusiasm and authentic affection open the connection, what are the things that will keep our fires burning bright and burning in concert with one another?
I have been employed or working under contract for most of the time since the divorce. And today I'm gearing up to start a new job so that I can get some money, but more importantly so that my kids will get some money. And yes, the dinosaur will be fed and happy in the next month.
And, as far as I can plan, I'm planning to go with my lover. Even my aspirational goals consider her. Happiness is far better when shared.
How could I construct a partnership, from the second date onward, with intention, transparency, and hope?
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Know what you want. Know what you offer. Don't oversell. And for fks sake: DO NOT SETTLE.
I will not settle for average and I hope you will not either. Average will get you down the road a bit, but it's not the lasting relationship you are looking for. That's one of the reasons dating can be difficult. We don't want to be alone so we might go on a lot of average dates.