If we can see and seek the balanced parenting approach we might be able to continue that holistic love even as the marriage comes apart.
But it's the kids who stand to lose the most from this imbalanced systemic approach. Dad is more than money. And mom is capable of making just as much money (let's table the fair pay discussion for the moment) as the dad. These old roles no longer fit the educated and compassionate couple. But the road to a good and healthy co-parenting plan is not a well-worn path.
Here's to my kids. And here's to my wife who let me out of a miserable sexless marriage.
My work is to help women and single moms get strong, healthy, and confident enough to design the relationship of their dreams. It's not always easy. And, we know there are no shortcuts to doing the work on yourself that will put you in the right mindset to attract a kickass partner.
Let's get one thing straight, I am. not the victim of a divorce. I am a survivor of a divorce decree that follows the state guidelines and timelines and gives dads 30% of the time with their kids and 100% of the child support.
Once I took my own anger out of the communication loop I began to heal and move on to the next stage.
I launched The Whole Parent. I proudly put my name on the posts I began writing about learning to cope as a single dad with a less than cooperative co-parent.
The first time when we were making love during this period, that I noticed things were off, I caught her looking out the window, seemingly bored. "Are you okay?" I asked.