Divorce is a cruel storm. If we could see our ex-partners as humans rather than combatants, we could begin to heal the pain. We’re in this together, no matter how it turns out. Humans of Divorce are people who are doing their best in spite of the negative actions of their co-parent.
Without a plan, I often find my day goes marginally well. Since there was no plan, I did not succeed or fail. But I didn't move many of my creative chess pieces forward on the board either.
At this very moment: my joy is infinite; my happiness is connected to some higher power; inner contentment and creative energies have come into balance
When we get dark and cannot see the way forward, we need people who are reaching out to us, connecting with us, even when we're feeling good and not reaching out to them. We need friends along the path.
BOTH partners need to be willing, have intentionality towards building a sustainable relationship, and then have the TIME to spend building the WE.
I'd love to know the perfect advice for my two kids, heading into their new lives of college and eventually a career. Both seem well oriented towards their chosen professions.
If we can see and seek the balanced parenting approach we might be able to continue that holistic love even as the marriage comes apart.
But it's the kids who stand to lose the most from this imbalanced systemic approach. Dad is more than money. And mom is capable of making just as much money (let's table the fair pay discussion for the moment) as the dad. These old roles no longer fit the educated and compassionate couple. But the road to a good and healthy co-parenting plan is not a well-worn path.
Here's to my kids. And here's to my wife who let me out of a miserable sexless marriage.