I'm not all that good at dating yet. I mean, I don't really know how to BE. I try to be "myself" of course, but I'm too involved, too hyper, too talkative. I don't listen as well as I should. But the part of the problem, that I'm just beginning to understand, is my habit of projecting any "potential" relationship off into some imaginary future. What I mean is, I sometimes have a problem staying present.
Co-parenting is the process of becoming a partner with the other parent of your children. It begins the minute you discuss having children. The co-parenting agreement should span a lifetime, including what happens in the case of divorce. Start at 50/50 shared parenting? Agree to 50/50 shared parenting in divorce. Become great co-parents. Equals. Allies. Focused on your children and how you can support each other in the difficult journey ahead.
- A Healthy Co-Parenting Plan: Hope for the Recently Divorced Parent
- Present Tense: Co-Parenting Disconnected
- I Am Not the Problem in the Co-parenting Relationship, We Are
- Would You Damage Your Co-Parent’s Livelihood If You Could?
- Understanding My Co-parent’s Malfunction: My Easy Indifference
- I Wish You Well, and Absolutely Nothing Else: Re-forgiving a Co-parent
- Becoming a Healthier Co-parent by Releasing Your Ex
- What Went Down: Divorce is Not Kind. Co-parenting is a Myth.
- Co-parenting Struggles: Withholding the Joy of Your Kids
Even if your ex decides not to co-parent collaboratively with you, they are co-parenting, but in a negative way. You want what’s best for your children. You want a good co-parenting relationship. You want your kids to love you both. Weaponizing co-parenting is a toxic move. Stay positive. If you can’t co-parent nicely, then co-parent without negative inputs.
It only takes ONE PARENT to hold a positive post-divorce relationship. The enlightened parent can lessen the conflict at every stage of co-parenting. When I learned that positive only was the track I was on with my ex-wife, my co-parenting success was no longer tied to her poor behavior.
Divorced dads have a lot harder time staying involved in their kids' lives, even with they make every effort, keep every appointment, and ask for more time then they are given with them, post-divorce. I am that dad.
She asked me not to write about her or the kids, ever. But, I'm sorry, that's the only way I can talk about what's going on for me at this amazing juncture in my life.
As we grew into our parenting roles, we had different ideas about how that should look. And I fess up, I was unhappy. I was asking for a massive change. And in the end, we disagreed on what we wanted as a couple.
I often wonder if I could've reached out in a way that would've fundamentally cracked open her guarded heart. Even in those final two months when we were sharing the same house while agreeing that we were getting a divorce, I was trying to express my continued love through songs and poetry. She didn't want poems or romantic music. She wanted action. She wanted me to be different.
Down has become the new up, and I have become a new single dad, still committed to his kids, and in many ways, to his ex-wife as well. We are still a family, still connected, even when we're not together.
Allow the hurricane to arrive and blow away the old aspects of your lives. Reset your expectations and parenting lives around the love and support of your children. Then, even if things don't work out with the marriage, the closeness and love that you've established with your kids, becomes the strength and bond that guides your relationship even after divorce.
For me, most of the time and energy has been redirected towards being a great dad and being present for my kids above all else. I'd like a relationship, and I'm still casually working the online dating options, but I'm not in a hurry.