Co-parenting is the process of becoming a partner with the other parent of your children. It begins the minute you discuss having children. The co-parenting agreement should span a lifetime, including what happens in the case of divorce. Start at 50/50 shared parenting? Agree to 50/50 shared parenting in divorce. Become great co-parents. Equals. Allies. Focused on your children and how you can support each other in the difficult journey ahead.

Even if your ex decides not to co-parent collaboratively with you, they are co-parenting, but in a negative way. You want what’s best for your children. You want a good co-parenting relationship. You want your kids to love you both. Weaponizing co-parenting is a toxic move. Stay positive. If you can’t co-parent nicely, then co-parent without negative inputs.

It only takes ONE PARENT to hold a positive post-divorce relationship. The enlightened parent can lessen the conflict at every stage of co-parenting. When I learned that positive only was the track I was on with my ex-wife, my co-parenting success was no longer tied to her poor behavior.

The Rest of Our Lives Loving the Same Person

I have no way of knowing what would've happened had she not asked for a divorce. I was certainly not happy with our relationship, but I was committed and confident that we would find our stride again. I was certain that the financial issues and struggles, for both of us, around work and money and shared efforts could be worked out. Nothing was as important as my marriage. Nothing.

Continue ReadingThe Rest of Our Lives Loving the Same Person

The Fading Passion of Monogamy

If either of you decides not to do the work of keeping the love alive, then you're in for some tough times. And when negotiations and discussions break down, sometimes over sex, the fractures may end up becoming breaks. The loss of the love may end up signaling the loss of your marriage.

Continue ReadingThe Fading Passion of Monogamy

The Bittersweet Ballet of Single Dad Mornings

The joy of waking up your kids comes from the inner joy you have at being their parent, at supporting their dreams and the beginning of their day. Your energy and daily rhythm are up to you. And your commitment to bring their eyes open in a calm and pleasing manner might just be a gift you give them for life.

Continue ReadingThe Bittersweet Ballet of Single Dad Mornings

Single Dad In Love, a Happy Story

I am still in love with my kids and even the woman who brought them. It's evolved into something very different than I planned. And even as I hope for a co-pilot again, there will never be an astronaut who turned herself so completely inside and out to be a family together.

Continue ReadingSingle Dad In Love, a Happy Story

A Different Side of Boyhood: Celebrating Divorced Families

I'm a bit closer to my ex-wife now, having seen a glimpse into her life. I know we're both doing the best we can. And Boyhood celebrates that triumph both alone and together.

Continue ReadingA Different Side of Boyhood: Celebrating Divorced Families

Dear Single Mom: Listen, I Was Your Son, I Get It

Take one step back the next time you want to overly defend your son. Take one breath before rushing in as he's dealing with issues. Give his little spirit time to develop. (Even with less of your "inspiration and help," he will get there.)

Continue ReadingDear Single Mom: Listen, I Was Your Son, I Get It