I did not ever think I’d write this post. I was certain I had found my forever mate. But some things are not meant to be, and the best is yet to come. I won’t say much about it, in respect of my partner who I still love deeply, but I think if you read the last 30 posts or so you might catch a theme of what wasn’t working, for me. Anyway…
I want to talk about online dating for a minute. Gross, I know. I’m very discouraged to even be in this place again after so much bliss, but it is what it is.
Here’s the thing. Online dating is a pure numbers game. Regardless of what site or app you are using here are the stats, in my opinion. About 80% of women will be out right away for various reasons. Then 10% of the remaining women are so cute that you’re unlikely to ever catch their attention. So then you’re working with about 10% of the total. And the percentage that might be a match from that smaller subset is about 2%. That’s my experience. And it’s not all bad, but the numbers are stacked against you. And if your profile pics don’t tell a happy and honest story about you, well, you’ll understand what I mean when you look inside the apps.
So… If 2% of the women in all of online dating are potentially interested in exploring options with me, why would I stay on one site only. Surely there are different people on different sites, right? Right. And if it’s a numbers game, why wouldn’t I go ahead and put myself on all of the top 4? I did and you should if you’re serious about looking for your next relationship. Here are my top 4 dating sites/apps ranked in order from best to worst.
- OKCupid – smaller pool but the questions are a great way to understand more about the person.
- Match – a bigger pool, but has a lot of scammers.
- Bumble – a simple app that puts the woman in charge of initiating a conversation.
- Tender – not so much luck on this one, but still on it.
In the week that I’ve been on the sites here are my results.
OK Cupid – I’m currently chatting with 4 women. I’ve only met one of them and we happened to know each other from high school.
Match.com – I’m chatting with 2 women here. But there’s a lot less bio information available.
Bumble – Only one woman has contacted me, but she dropped off the map as soon as I suggested coffee.
Tender – zero.
Now, I’m not in a hurry to get back into a long-term relationship, but it takes a lot of time to get anything started, and harder still to find that person that intrigues you and is intrigued by you. So I fired them up all at once, to widen my pool.
The bonus that happens right away as soon as you get a touchback from someone is the idea of potential. When my relationship ended I was devastated and certain I would never find another person so perfect for me. But as soon as a cute woman responded to me, I had a glimmer of hope. It’s worth it just for that. And now I have several women in conversation. And I even played tennis yesterday with a woman from Match. And it was AMAZING.
So, if you’re single, go ahead and put your best foot forward and get out there. Getting to a relationship may take months, so you might as well start exploring the field. And if you see the 10% as potentials then you begin to get hopeful that there “might” be someone out there for you.
Oh, btw, there is. Good luck.
More single parent dating posts from The Whole Parent:
- When Things Go Right, I Mean Really Right: Dating a Single Dad
- Relationship Mistakes: Intoxicating Sex vs. Emotional Intelligence
- 18 Signs a Single Dad Likes You: Dating Again as a Single Mom
- A Relationship Fable: Am I Addicted to Touch?
image: creative commons usage