Pay attention to your mind. When the monkey mind jumps into gear, try and find a moment to observe your thinking, as if you are an observer. Then decide: do I want to continue this runaway train of thought, or should I focus on something that I can actually have an effect on?
What I need is a radical rethink of myself and a full-court press on fitness as a priority in my life.
And then I did something a bit different: I paid attention to how each of my options felt. I noticed I was not really in need of ice cream. I didn't need anything sweet.
As I learn more about my personal investment in threads, and my reluctance to let go of an elevated connection, I am better able to manage my own interactions, my own energy, and my own decisive disconnection of a golden thread.
Process the stuff that hurts. And, for me, stop eating to heal those hurts. Just get them out in other ways. Writing about them can help, indeed.
My role now is very similar to my non-custodial dad role. I don't have a lot of time or opportunities to engage with my kids. I have to reach out. Keep reaching out. And let go of any outcome.
Let your kids go. Let your sons fall down and pick themselves back up. Let your loneliness be filled by someone other than your kids. Let your new partner into the starting lineup.
Seek 100%. Seek a fulfilled partner. Seek a mindful journey alongside another seeker. Be here now.