My kids would've gotten a better version of me. We would've stayed a bit closer as a family, even after I left, because the bills would all be split. And my house would've been just as comfortable as mom's house.
Boundaries are constantly changing between you and your commitments. And people with unhealthy, or unarticulated (unknown or misunderstood) boundaries are more at risk of losing their daily momentum to the will and requests of everyone around them.
Sure, I believe my ex wants our kids to be healthy and happy. And somewhere she got in her mind that being the PRIMARY PARENT after the divorce was *in the best interest of the children.*
When I have done something to disappoint you I will be sad and sorry myself, but it's likely that the opportunity for healing is just below the surface of my triggering action.
If we can see and seek the balanced parenting approach we might be able to continue that holistic love even as the marriage comes apart.
Each day, we just groove. Watching a movie, cooking dinner, walking her dogs, I am happier together with someone who is holding my hand.
But, dear son, don't say "Sorry," when you are not sorry. Don't make excuses for not picking up the phone call and saying "I can't talk to you right now. Love you."
So let's make a pact, in our next round of dating "work" I want to commit to pursuing only the clear YES women. Everything else is a distraction. If I am interested in a relationship, that's going to take time, patience, perspective, and the right YES woman.