Online dating is hard. And, I believe it's hard in different ways for men and women. Here's what I understand to be the state of dating in the world of apps and sites.
When sex enters a relationship everything changes and your thinking is going to be challenged for 6 months to a year. Don't trust your thoughts during this period. Don't make any big decisions together. If you get to two red flags, again, BOLT.
Let's build better relationships as we pick up the pieces and move forward.
When you are involved in something vigorous, your attention and judgment are often heightened. You are more likely to get a true read on a partner while you are playing tennis, for example.
You've got to keep going. Your partner is out there. You've got to stay true to your path, true to your goals and boundaries, and give each person the flexibility to show up in your life and be a YES.
If the chemistry is on and flowing both ways, you will both be asking "What's next." If it's not mutual, move on. You will not be able to build a fire without initial sparks. (But don't overlook the slow-burn. If you're "sort of" interested, perhaps a second date is in order.)
Don't give up. Just because all of your previous relationships have failed, does not mean that the next date might be The One.
I'm a handful. I'm whimsical. I'm capricious. I have a lot of irons in the fire. And, sure, I demand a woman with a high level of confidence and well-seasoned experience in relationship building. We've got to both be into the evolution of becoming a couple.