Online dating is hard. And, I believe it's hard in different ways for men and women. Here's what I understand to be the state of dating in the world of apps and sites.
When sex enters a relationship everything changes and your thinking is going to be challenged for 6 months to a year. Don't trust your thoughts during this period. Don't make any big decisions together. If you get to two red flags, again, BOLT.
Let's build better relationships as we pick up the pieces and move forward.
You've got to keep going. Your partner is out there. You've got to stay true to your path, true to your goals and boundaries, and give each person the flexibility to show up in your life and be a YES.
If the chemistry is on and flowing both ways, you will both be asking "What's next." If it's not mutual, move on. You will not be able to build a fire without initial sparks. (But don't overlook the slow-burn. If you're "sort of" interested, perhaps a second date is in order.)
Don't give up. Just because all of your previous relationships have failed, does not mean that the next date might be The One.
I'm a handful. I'm whimsical. I'm capricious. I have a lot of irons in the fire. And, sure, I demand a woman with a high level of confidence and well-seasoned experience in relationship building. We've got to both be into the evolution of becoming a couple.
The goal is never to blame the other person for the breakup, even if they were the reason you are breaking up. Always take your responsibility for the miss. And make it about the chemistry, the mix, the overall relationship and not about them or their poor behavior. Remember, you are leaving the relationship, not trying to teach them a lesson or educate them.