Pay attention to your mind. When the monkey mind jumps into gear, try and find a moment to observe your thinking, as if you are an observer. Then decide: do I want to continue this runaway train of thought, or should I focus on something that I can actually have an effect on?
The first time when we were making love during this period, that I noticed things were off, I caught her looking out the window, seemingly bored. "Are you okay?" I asked.
Love is a journey. Love is not a soul mate who sweeps you off your feet. Love is a bit more like beauty and the beast. We've got flaws, we've got inner dragons, we've got issues, and we STILL LOVE THE OTHER PERSON.
I do rely on Love Languages a lot, but I think we need more than that. We need action and clear commitments to fulfill with our partners. We need to give them the space to miss us. The space to get into their own inner dialogue about dreams and projects. We need to feel our own isolation and how much more vibrant we feel when we are together.
As I learn more about my personal investment in threads, and my reluctance to let go of an elevated connection, I am better able to manage my own interactions, my own energy, and my own decisive disconnection of a golden thread.
She still cannot see how planting discontent on my kids towards me is hurting them more than it's hurting us. She is actively damaging her own relationship with her kids over MONEY.
I genuinely believe that family laws are corrupt and need to be reset to start at 50/50 parenting with no child support. I love helping moms understand single dads and how to relate to them.
Process the stuff that hurts. And, for me, stop eating to heal those hurts. Just get them out in other ways. Writing about them can help, indeed.