Anger is a slippery fish for me. My dad's anger was so pervasive and dangerous that none of my family members ever got a handle on how to deal with anger. Here are some of my issues/fears about anger.
Namasté to my ex-wife and her husband. And congratulations, I guess you got what you wanted when you asked for a divorce. You won.
I believe that living with anger, creates an angry life. Showing the angry life to your kids is not the lesson you'd prefer to give them. Discharge your anger however you need to do it, but quit firing poison darts at your co-parent. You are liable to hit one of your kids instead.
I don't want to return to an intimate relationship with my ex-wife, but the intimacy we share in raising our kids is more important and deeper than any of our feelings of loss or anger. We have to get OVER our emotional divorce in order to get INTO healthy divorced parenting roles.