I quickly and clearly expressed my change of plans and released them back into the stream of possibilities. Get clear on your dating goals. And if you need someone to talk to about all of this crazy mess, I'm here.
There is no rescue coming for you. I am not a hero. I am a solitary man, sitting in my own pain around the current gap, and I am working like hell (writing, meditating, exercising, coaching, praying) to heal my own troubled heart.
If you find yourself thinking or saying, I'd be happy if you'd just... You need to get over the request and focus on yourself. If NOTHING CHANGES, would you be able to stay in this relationship? If the answer is no, you've got work todo.
If Bumble is successful you stay hopeful and keep paying them for the extras. If you are successful a partner will take you offline off their quota.
I understand not being ready for a relationship. I understand taking your time getting to know someone. And I'm glad she did seek me out so we could have a few of these illuminating conversations in-person, but it's clear to me she was NOT a touch-oriented person, and as I asked about her love language twice, that was enough to trigger the "not developing" email.
The thrill of getting to a second date... Well, don't blow it. Just be cool. Don't lead to fast or too far. Take your signals from your date. Listen intently for emotional intelligence. Are they telling stories about past relationships, or future ideas, or work, or working out?
There are plenty of fit and fantastic-looking people using online dating. 99% of them will not give you the time of day. That's okay. You only need ONE YES to change your life.
Growing together is hard. There will be bumps in the road. Even your perfect partner may appear less evolved and you might be tempted to return to the swiping apps. Don't.