Once the connection is established and reality-testing routines have been operating for a few weeks, it might be time to give in to the optimism that says YES to everything and anything.
I launched The Whole Parent. I proudly put my name on the posts I began writing about learning to cope as a single dad with a less than cooperative co-parent.
Stress, money issues, and emotional troubles are all part of the parenting life. Both parents must evolve beyond being Mom and Dad into who they want to become.
Today, if you want 50/50 shared parenting, in most states, you are going to have to sue your exiting spouse. My advice, at this point in 2023, FIGHT.
Divorce is not the end of the world. However, it's often the end of most dad's major bonding and influence with his kids. Most divorces end with dads being marginalized by the family court precedents.
1. Focus on yourself and your health/ 2. Give your kids 110% of your available attention / 3. Shutdown the angry communications with your ex
My goal, as a good dad, is to be available emotionally and physically to my kids all the time. They know where I stand. I've never bad-mouthed their mom. And as they continue to grow and mature into adults, I'm back to having an equal opportunity to be with them.
You can't have kids by yourself. Your partner is just as important. Why would it be different when you no longer live together?