If you want joyful sex, you explore and ask for a joyful partner. And when the chemistry is ON you can imagine seeking ever deeper levels of connection with this partner.
We don't need our partners to turn into BLGs too. We need our partners to accept and appreciate our white-hot love and then find their own lover within. Our partners do have to return some of the love. Our partners do have to respond with loving feedback. And if we dial up the chemistry just right...
Love deeply. Live deeply. And when you lose someone, go on loving as deeply as you can. In the case of my brother, I will go on loving him as he becomes a spirit.
In my current life, the big love is the cushion that's keeping me going. As I wander this dark wilderness of grief and loss, I have a firm and tight hand to hold on to. A partner who is exploring what's next with me. Rain and shine.
That's what we want. Ascendant love. Moving ever higher together. Fearlessly attacking the discord as it arrives unwelcome and unbidden. And we move through it with the other person, knowing they are going to stick around.