Sure, I believe my ex wants our kids to be healthy and happy. And somewhere she got in her mind that being the PRIMARY PARENT after the divorce was *in the best interest of the children.*
You can't have kids by yourself. Your partner is just as important. Why would it be different when you no longer live together?
BOTH partners need to be willing, have intentionality towards building a sustainable relationship, and then have the TIME to spend building the WE.
But it's the kids who stand to lose the most from this imbalanced systemic approach. Dad is more than money. And mom is capable of making just as much money (let's table the fair pay discussion for the moment) as the dad. These old roles no longer fit the educated and compassionate couple. But the road to a good and healthy co-parenting plan is not a well-worn path.
Let's get one thing straight, I am. not the victim of a divorce. I am a survivor of a divorce decree that follows the state guidelines and timelines and gives dads 30% of the time with their kids and 100% of the child support.
I launched The Whole Parent. I proudly put my name on the posts I began writing about learning to cope as a single dad with a less than cooperative co-parent.
She still cannot see how planting discontent on my kids towards me is hurting them more than it's hurting us. She is actively damaging her own relationship with her kids over MONEY.
Today, nearly a year later, I am still a deadbeat dad on the record. Despite several calls to the AG's office and several agreements to resolve and close the child support account, I am still in arrears by $1.39.