My kids would've gotten a better version of me. We would've stayed a bit closer as a family, even after I left, because the bills would all be split. And my house would've been just as comfortable as mom's house.
I have shown my children how to recover from a loss, and become happier, and more intentional in their lives.
Well, if I’m imagining this next relationship is the LAST ONE, well, that too has its own kind of pressure, that perhaps is just as debilitating as the rushing of the process.
Your energy and your vibrancy depend on you being rested and well nourished. Don't burn your candle in the middle and on both ends by pushing yourself with more coffee, more adderall, more stress.
Boundaries are constantly changing between you and your commitments. And people with unhealthy, or unarticulated (unknown or misunderstood) boundaries are more at risk of losing their daily momentum to the will and requests of everyone around them.
Sure, I believe my ex wants our kids to be healthy and happy. And somewhere she got in her mind that being the PRIMARY PARENT after the divorce was *in the best interest of the children.*
Without a plan, I often find my day goes marginally well. Since there was no plan, I did not succeed or fail. But I didn't move many of my creative chess pieces forward on the board either.
When I have done something to disappoint you I will be sad and sorry myself, but it's likely that the opportunity for healing is just below the surface of my triggering action.