The Red-Hot Poker of Regret in Divorce
Today, if you want 50/50 shared parenting, in most states, you are going to have to sue your exiting spouse. My advice, at this point in 2023, FIGHT.
Co-parenting is the process of becoming a partner with the other parent of your children. It begins the minute you discuss having children. The co-parenting agreement should span a lifetime, including what happens in the case of divorce. Start at 50/50 shared parenting? Agree to 50/50 shared parenting in divorce. Become great co-parents. Equals. Allies. Focused on your children and how you can support each other in the difficult journey ahead.
Even if your ex decides not to co-parent collaboratively with you, they are co-parenting, but in a negative way. You want what’s best for your children. You want a good co-parenting relationship. You want your kids to love you both. Weaponizing co-parenting is a toxic move. Stay positive. If you can’t co-parent nicely, then co-parent without negative inputs.
It only takes ONE PARENT to hold a positive post-divorce relationship. The enlightened parent can lessen the conflict at every stage of co-parenting. When I learned that positive only was the track I was on with my ex-wife, my co-parenting success was no longer tied to her poor behavior.
Today, if you want 50/50 shared parenting, in most states, you are going to have to sue your exiting spouse. My advice, at this point in 2023, FIGHT.
She's in control this time. Much more in control than she was in the marriage. Having the angry hammer over my head, must give her some satisfaction, knowing she could precipitate my financial shut down with one phone call.
I learned to do a killer swan dive that summer at the country club. In my feelings of sadness and dread of the coming hurricane of divorce, I began to detach from the happy rich kid.
I don't want a single parent to get lost in the shuffle of divorce. I want fathers and mothers to have equal access to their children, even in the case of divorce.
Always respect the other parent. Keep fathers in their kids' lives by giving them half a chance to maintain that relationship. The same chance you have.
I'm more of an influencer on my kids. I don't have authority. What I do have is time attention and joy at being with them.
I have always been in support of my son. I have taken on his mom and her husband about the issues concerning his health. And, as usual, I have been shut out by them as well.
And, please, don't aim barbs at your kids meant to hurt your former partner. It never works as expected. Arrows fired at your ex will always affect your children on the way to the target.