And so, I've been girlfriend free since the end of the summer and it's fine. I'd rather not be. But I'd rather be alone that coping with another person's major emotional distress. I don't need drama or high theater.
As much as we wanted to remain in love and grow in love as parents, there were some fundamental shifts that happened in our lives and in our aspirations. What I learned from my first "touch" lover was that my needs for closeness are fundamental to my complete happiness.
I am still in love with my kids and even the woman who brought them. It's evolved into something very different than I planned. And even as I hope for a co-pilot again, there will never be an astronaut who turned herself so completely inside and out to be a family together.
There will be time for anger. There will be moments when anger is the only way you can find to stand up for what you believe to be right. But the rest is up to you.