We've got to learn other ways to celebrate our victories and process our hurts. And by showing up in our own lives in a big way, we demonstrate for our kids how to recover from difficult situations and thrive in spite of the setbacks.
I like to be on top of the world, as most of us do, but I haven't done very well in the past when I sink into "maintenance mode" rather than aspirational mode. What I learned from my last stumble is that I AM MY OWN WORST ENEMY.
If your kids are old enough, talk to them about how they would like to do Christmas within the schedule you and the other parent have determined. Over time, it does get better. But while things are fresh and hard, make sure you take care of yourself first.
Max Powers, today, is walking into the 2019 Holiday season with a much better plan. Take care of all the things you can take care of. Work your program. Let go of the things you cannot control.
Often when I listened to what my body was telling me, over the last three weeks, I was able to identify what my mood or physical state in need of alteration or boost was. Mostly for me, it's exhaustion. Take a nap. And loneliness. Reach out to someone you love. I am blessed to be in a period of confidence and sustained happiness. So, the cravings have been fairly benign and less urgent.
My recovery focused on a lot of supportive activities and rituals. The Al-anon meetings provided a healthy and spiritual community for me to stay connected. My Al-anon sponsor continued to show up in my life as a guide and cheerleader.
In the spaces between relationships, we get to know ourselves again. As we all head towards the holidays, I'd like to remember to be more mindful of my energy and emotional state. Sure, still do the dishes if they need to be done, but don't sweat the small stuff. And some days, give yourself a break. It's okay to be alone. Being by yourself is one relationship we always need to cultivate.
So as I speed away from another "potential" I am trying to be aware of the great things I learned. And most of all, I hope to make use of the momentum her gravity and ultimate slingshot has provided for the path ahead.