The holidays since my divorce have been a mixed bag. When you have young children, the holidays are magical and exciting. All the singing, the present planning, the parties… And then a silly little thing like divorce comes and wrecks the spirit of the entire season. When you lose your children over the holidays, things can get dark. I’ve written a lot about prepping and strategizing for a depression-free holiday season as a single parent.
This Holiday Season is Different
I’ve just emerged from a Covid bout that took a lot out of me. The flip side, however, is that my partner and I continued to share our lives and affection as if I was merely on a book tour in England. I never felt a waiver. In previous relationships, uncertainty was a given. In my partnership today, our constancy and enthusiastic support for each other, even in stressful moments, are unequaled.
I am looking forward to this holiday season, our second, in a way that I haven’t felt since the kids and their mom shared the same house with me. What’s changed? Me. And my unrelenting focus has always been on finding the right relationship, a relationship based on healthy communication and unfettered affection. How many times a day can you say, “I am so lucky,” when referring to your partner? That goal has always driven my quest. I wanted someone who was ready to open up a brand new chapter together, to co-pilot our future, and to discover the best years of our lives together.
We’ve both got two kids, and our joy will certainly revolve around their participation and celebration. However, the biggest joy will be our celebration of each other and our continuous appreciation for one another.
Christmas Starts Tonight For Me
I’ve been isolated for almost two weeks. Tonight, I will get to reunite with my partner. Our Christmas is being together.
My hope for you is twofold:
- If you have kids I hope you can celebrate and build traditions that give you the closeness you deserve.
- If you’re still seeking a relationship, I hope you can find joy and peace in the celebration with others.
In my life, I have believed that I deserve to be loved with the same intensity and integrity that I am capable of. I have found a worthy recipient. The feeling is mutual. And, I had to go through FIVE relationship attempts to find my whole partner. Never settle. Never give up. And if you need to chat with someone over the holidays my free sessions are still open.
And who knows, maybe I won’t be a single dad forever.
John McElhenney – life coach austin texas
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The Single Parent Holiday Collection:
- Finding Joy as a Single Parent During the Holidays: Our Celebration
- The First Holiday Season As a Single Dad: Stepping Into the Void
- A Moment of Silence, Followed By… (checking-in on holiday depression)
- Planning for Drama-free Holidays as a Single Parent
- A Fractured Family Table During the Holidays: My Anti-Depression Plan
- Avoiding Holiday Depression: Notes from a Single Dad
How I Can Help
I am a relationship coach and a dating coach. I coach women in 1 x 1 zoom or facetime calls. I work in monthly blocks (4 sessions). We establish a relationship. I become your wingman in navigating and sorting through the bullshit of dating and relationships. If you are here, you’ve probably already read some of my opinions. If we’re a fit, we will both know on our first call.
- Coaching Call (30-minutes – FREE)
- General Whole Parent Group (join Private Facebook Group)
- Subscribe to our monthly email (easily unsubscribe system too)
back to The Positive Divorce
- The Spiritual Quest for Love
- 10 Things I’ve Learned In the 5 Years Since My Divorce
- The Care and Feeding of a Lover
- The Training and Education of a Reluctant Divorcé
- What You Can’t Tell Your Kids After Divorce
- The 3 Immutable Laws of Co-Parenting
- Single Dad Seeks: Dating Again After Divorce: Advice and Strategies on Learning How to be Loved Again
- Fall of the House of Dad: My journey through divorce, from loss to joy, again and again
- A Good Dad’s Guide to Divorce: One father’s quest to stay connected with his children
- The Sex Index: Getting Our Love Languages Right in the Bedroom
- Here Comes the Darkness: Surviving and Thriving After a Mental Illness Diagnosis
- The Third Glass: When Drinking Becomes an Issue
- The Storm Before the Divorce: When One Parent Wants Out, That’s the End