Drink if you want to. Make sure you are aware of your motivations when you begin to fix the third cocktail. In my experience, that Third Glass came to represent a turning away from me and away from intimacy. I would choose to drink with her from time to time, but I could not follow her into the nightly oblivion. I wanted a close relationship.
For fun, drink. For relaxation, drink. As a reward, drink. As an aphrodisiac, drink. Okay, let's not buy any añejo, I said to myself that last few times I've been next door to the liquor store having dinner. In the same way I refrain from buying a pint of ice cream every time I go to the grocery store. Just don't do it.
I am not a doctor. I am not a therapist. What I did learn over time: her drinking was taking a hefty toll on my emotional and spiritual livelihood. If your drinking is an issue in your relationship, you may have a drinking problem.