The trick in keeping your relationship vibrant and healthy, is to micro correct towards each other, towards the join between you. By showing your partner you are willing to own and handle the little issues that come up during the course of a week, you are giving them assurances that you can do the same over the longer trajectory of your relationship.
As our little boat struggles forward my wife and I are co-captains. And we have an awesome little crew of kids, dogs, cats, and even fish. All attached via rigging and lifelines.
I do rely on Love Languages a lot, but I think we need more than that. We need action and clear commitments to fulfill with our partners. We need to give them the space to miss us. The space to get into their own inner dialogue about dreams and projects. We need to feel our own isolation and how much more vibrant we feel when we are together.
Finding and keeping love is about going to the well every single time. And when you find fire pouring accelerant on it by really, fully, and truly, asking for what you want. You must go for it to get it.
Are you moving the meta-goals along the path towards done? Are you putting non-important items on your to-do list rather than deleting or delegating them?
But if you're ignoring numero uno, by not taking care of your needs, your health, your sleep, your boundaries, the crash will come for you. You cannot drink enough coffee or take enough anti-depressants to correct a lack of self-care.
In a loving relationship, I can grow to be a happier version of myself. I think that's what we're all hungry for. Being happier in our lives. For me, this involves a romantic relationship.
As a couple moves towards kid introductions and connecting their families together, there's going to be a lot of alignment that needs to happen. For me, this process is all about creating and cherishing the WE of the relationship.