i waited for her to change her mind
tossing random love messages and poems
rubbing her back and praising her tan lines
i could not predict her next move
or escape act
so we travelled along
side by side
bodies in transit
bodies in heat and proximity
and i tried to change my mind
interviewed other candidates
browsed the profiles
flirted furiously
changing my mind was my only option
changing her mind
wasn’t for my to-do list
and waiting for the change
always felt like a sabotage
we know what happens there
and a week
moved into the summer
and her kisses relaxed a bit
as she spread herself
and her mind
ever darting away
ever returning
in smiles
her smile is what took my breath away
even when we met
that first moment
and that first
wow, she’s cute
and that smile
lighting up my closed room
calling me to change myself
timing is everything they say
and time together is a potent agent
of mystery and joy and bumpy rides
there are always bumps
hiccups and fears
that is no wonder
and no matter that isn’t dissolved
in time
so the timing thing
is about patience and peace
it is about pause
and enjoyment of the skin
and touch of the neck
time doesn’t run away
people do
and time is our currency
and payment
i told her
i have what i want
nothing could be better
at this moment
you are here
i am here
you are smiling
i am alert and attentive
and time is, in fact, on our side
if i listen to myself, now
i can hear how crazy it all sounds
how full of it, i am
she is here and she’s not
reaches out and is gone
responds with a strange jab
and i come back to the skin
of the present moment
and not waiting
for either of us
to
change
6-18-14
see also:
image: wet, john morgan, creative commons usage
