What I've got is my state of happiness and peace. I no longer fight with her about anything. I no longer ask her for anything. I keep my communications primarily with my kids. As far as I'm concerned, she's no longer the superpower she was.
We've got to learn other ways to celebrate our victories and process our hurts. And by showing up in our own lives in a big way, we demonstrate for our kids how to recover from difficult situations and thrive in spite of the setbacks.
Each time I let myself reenter the sad times, the sad places, and let my soul feel the wear and tear of the hard and long journey, I begin to heal those old times.
I don't have to get it right, here, or anywhere. Somedays I'm angry about the divorce. Other days, I see how my ex-wife released me from her sphere of influence, and for this I am grateful.
Though I had no map for the road ahead, I did have my own core happiness and strength. And even though the future had suddenly appeared darker and more ominous I responded with laughter. The situation was not funny.