Your loving partnership may be the key for them to heal some of their past trauma. It is not our responsibility to heal our partner, but it is our responsibility to be the most trustworthy and thoughtful partner they've ever loved.
I am sold on lifetime partnerships, done one at a time. When they fail, they fail, but not for my own valiant efforts. Let's be together and explore how we can continue to romance, the care and kindness.
Slowly but surely, with patience and grace, I will be in relationship again. Months from now, a year from now, I hope to be writing you again about "the love of my life." Heck if you don't believe it, how will you ever get there.
That's what we want. Ascendant love. Moving ever higher together. Fearlessly attacking the discord as it arrives unwelcome and unbidden. And we move through it with the other person, knowing they are going to stick around.
Relationships are fun. And now that we have our kids and our independence, we can be more intentional and clear about what we want in our next relationship. It doesn't have to be about marriage, but can be more about learning to love and feel loved again.
I am learning better how to tap into the power of feelings and how they can motivate me towards doing better, being better. But I'm also too aware of how my feelings can lead me down dark and lonely paths. I am constantly trying to find the balanced walk down the middle.
There's no hard and fast rule about when it will happen, but eventually, you will be forced to make plans, long-term plans, with your partner. What sort of things do you need to decide together?
Don't speak if you're message is unimportant. And when you do speak, pay attention to the words and the way you are communicating. Then, stay in the feedback look with the object of your attention, and tune to their energy and attention.