Only through adventuring together, only through giving it a 100% shot and not holding back, are we capable of discovering a partner who is willing and capable of going there with us.
The rest is negotiation, navigation, and nurture. We've both got work ahead of us. We are always in a state of becoming. But today, I have my lifetime cheerleader beside me. And I'm always ready joyfully embrace her in all of her flaws and misdirections. We've all got them.
Back to the bare walls and rebuilding from nothing. Back to the feelings of being booted from my former "happy life" as a dad and husband, and into some unknown, stripped bare, emotional roller coaster of the last 8 years of my life.
The thrill of getting to a second date... Well, don't blow it. Just be cool. Don't lead to fast or too far. Take your signals from your date. Listen intently for emotional intelligence. Are they telling stories about past relationships, or future ideas, or work, or working out?
I hope you meet a lot of nice people out there. But don't be fooled by their looks, their profile statements, or their fluent email banter. Go for the face-to-face meeting with as little hassle and energy as possible. If it becomes difficult to land the date, for whatever reason, move on. If they wanted to meet they would also be trying to make it happen, not giving excuses.
In this sacred life, we have a limited number of hours in our day. The same number of hours as every other being in our space-time continuum. By checking in with your intentions and actions on a regular basis you can begin adjusting your life towards the life you want.
Your best photo causes me to say, "I want to be the one taking these photos of her, I want to be the one making her smile like that."
Nobody wins in a divorce, but we can keep either side from losing if we stay present and positive in the coming months of negotiation and planning.