When anger is quick and easily resolved the issues don't stick around much. Try and process the little anger while it is happening. Try and take the BIG ANGER offline, out of the relationship for a moment, and come back with some ideas of how to do things differently.
I often wonder if I could've reached out in a way that would've fundamentally cracked open her guarded heart. Even in those final two months when we were sharing the same house while agreeing that we were getting a divorce, I was trying to express my continued love through songs and poetry. She didn't want poems or romantic music. She wanted action. She wanted me to be different.