By allowing you to experience and process your own distress, without my interference, I am giving you the utmost respect. I am viewing you as whole, strong, and capable. And in my affirmation of you and your inherent ability to be strong and sufficient, I am reaffirming my belief in you.
That's what we want. Ascendant love. Moving ever higher together. Fearlessly attacking the discord as it arrives unwelcome and unbidden. And we move through it with the other person, knowing they are going to stick around.
Are you moving the meta-goals along the path towards done? Are you putting non-important items on your to-do list rather than deleting or delegating them?
I'm a happy climber. And I'm in a relationship now with another happy climber. There's always going to be hills in life, and it is your attitude about your own work ahead that makes the difference.
In my marriage, perhaps we hid too much of the anger. My kids don't have many healthy examples of anger negotiation. And thus, even as young middle-schoolers, their response to anger is often to shut down completely, and even cry, depending on the severity of the anger.