Over time, as adults, we develop coping mechanisms, strategies, action plans, for dealing with our own shit. Either we get pretty good at it, or we don't. When we're not very good at maintaining our own emotional boundaries, things begin to come out sideways.
A relationship coach can Give you a sense of hope; Give you a taste of how a "relationship coach" works; Explain how coaching is more like a physical trainer and less like a therapist; Help you clarify your goals.
There is absolutely no hurry. You have all the time you need. Spend time together. Spend time apart. Listen. Learn. And move forward.
I'm going to play the online dating game for a limited amount of time. I know it's a distraction. Browsing profiles online is NOT DATING. Get out there. Get into your best life and look for others around you doing the same thing. If a conversation comes up with a person of interest on Bumble or Match.com, great, but I'm not counting on the dating apps and sites to do anything for my love life. Let's get out and do what we love. I'll meet you there.
Don't wait for Valentine's Day. If you're not good at being romantic, or thoughtful, or loving, sure, take a note from all the influence towards love during this season, and add some of that sauce into your love life.
Dating is simple. Relationships are hard work. Well, they can be hard work, or they can be temporarily effortless. I think that's what we're imagining when we jump back into the dating pool again. We remember the highs of love crushes, the sex, the joy, the "hi, I am soooo glad to see you" feelings that are bantered back and forth when you are establishing a new love relationship.
Is your dating profile authentic? Are there parts of your presentation that need work? Are you asking for the right things in your future partner? And if these things are good, how are we going to filter through the chaff and find each other, online?
Without a solid self-awareness and a good road map of what you're looking for in a relationship, you might begin to feel dating (or online dating) is crap. That might be the case, but it's also a reality that tons of people move on from bad relationships, and find healthy relationships all the time. It takes work.