If your kids are old enough, talk to them about how they would like to do Christmas within the schedule you and the other parent have determined. Over time, it does get better. But while things are fresh and hard, make sure you take care of yourself first.
As divorced parents with kids we all need to work together to support the system. I am not part of his family system, but he is part of my family system. I suppose in his mind they do not overlap. He is incorrect. He is also an ass.
Today I have more energy and joy for them when they are with me. I'm happier in my life than I was in the later years of my marriage. My kids are seeing me living my life to it's fullest. And when they are part of my life, I get to rub off on them as much as I can.
As I prepare for my back to school, end of summer, dip I know that I am better prepared for the eventual final departure of our kids. I just wish it hadn't come so soon in my marriage.
When you ignore your kid's messages and voicemails you are giving them a very powerful message about their priority in your life. There is nothing you can say afterward, the exasperation has already taken place. This is never a happy response, "I don't know, I can't reach her and she's not responding."
We were both hungry for more time, more head pats. And that's a feeling I still ache with as I watch my children sleeping. Even when they are with me, the knowledge and feeling of the coming loss, just a day or so away, is painful.