I am leaving my feelings alone by choice. I am seeing them as separate from who I am. My feelings are just a part of me. There are many other parts. When I am healthy, I can see the other parts of my life and focus my attention on something other than the feelings.
I guess you have to be on the brink of suicide to really understand it. The hope is that you will find a reason to step back from the edge. The tragedy is when people, successful and seemingly happy people, don't step back.
I have suffered from depressions since I was 15 when I had my first collapse at a prep school (Phillips Exeter Academy) in New Hampshire. I didn’t know what was happening to me.