The last two relationships, as painful as the endings were, and as devastating as the loneliness was as I confronted being alone again, both taught me valuable lessons. And this is not a silver lining strategy or rationalization.
Other than the feelings of sadness and loss, the job actually has very little impact on my livelihood or future plans. And, when this news was softly delivered by a "less than awesome young manager" I understood this as the universe giving me the nudge out of the temporary holding pattern that this job actually represented. Still, I'm a little scared.
I am learning to love my HIGH self and my LOW self equally. It's a ninja mind trick, but I can do it.
Patience is not my nature, but it's probably my path forward. Jumping into a relationship that has big red flags is most definitely a path towards drama and disconnections.
What I am learning in my recovery from depression and anxiety is that my feelings are never the complete answer. And often, my feelings just are. If I can separate from them just a bit I can see myself as safe and healthy, even as my bear-feelings are shrieking, "Holy crap, you know what happens when things start feeling this good!"
My non-depression (or normal) me is a bit more energetic and creative than most people. I get high, yes, but its natural energy (maybe some coffee) and it's what I consider the real me. The undepressed me. Still, you might think I was high if you met me.