As a single parent dating again, things have changed for me over the last eight years. I was so energetic about finding and consummating the relationship. Now, I'm more aware at how sex, and my drive for sex, color the texture and honesty in the relationship.
I know that the drug of love is continuously renewing the purple haze of infatuation that continues to draw me onward, deeper into my commitment and devotion to this woman. And I'm okay with that. I'm okay with being in love with loving this woman.
I can still have those lusty feelings, recognize them for what they are, appreciate the woman who triggered them, and the move on with my life as I am rebuilding it.
As sex leads the way to love, the pathways in your brain really begin to get hyperactive. You start thinking about long-range plans together. You start imagining yourself with this person, living together, getting married, having kids. Love is the drug that has launched a million relationships.
Know what does it for you and being able to show or tell your partner is a key ingredient for evolved sex. As we can let go of traditional SEX as the goal and open up to the full range of erotic experiences, we can expand our pleasure and our sexual vocabularies.
I am not willing to spend all of my free weeknights going for coffee with women that are marginally compatible. But back in the summer of escape velocity, I tried and tried and tried. It was exhausting.
The power of sex is back and I don't want to give it up now any more than I did when my marriage began to falter. This time, I don't have to suffer when things go off the rails, I can just pack up and move along to another potential mate.