This morning I give thanks for the flexibility and caring my ex-wife shows me and my kids when they ask for some new connection. We've both worked hard to get here. And as we work better together everyone benefits.
I was lead to believe that the kids needed their mom more than me, that a mom's love is somehow superior, or more comforting than a dad's love.
Everything that happened from the moment my then-wife said she’d been to see a lawyer, has delivered me up to be healed in a way that would not have been possible had we stayed together.
Dad's are just as important as moms. Even with young kids, the loss of either parent (my dad left when I was 5) is one of the most painful aspects of divorce.
Get right with yourself before moving on to partner with another person. You'll be much more attractive to other healthy people, and better equipped to see and avoid negative relationships.
The main thing to remember as the divorce s-storm is heading your way is to take care of yourself. Like on the airplane when they say to put your mask on first and then your kid's masks. That's so you are conscious to be able to help them. Divorce is the same way. Take the time you need before jumping back into a relationship. Enjoy your freedom. Explore your alone time.
And I am happy for the healing in my family that has come from flipping all the negatives of divorce on their ass and finding the way back to love. Everything in my life is about love. And the love and support of my kids comes before all of my own needs and goals.
The joy of waking up your kids comes from the inner joy you have at being their parent, at supporting their dreams and the beginning of their day. Your energy and daily rhythm are up to you. And your commitment to bring their eyes open in a calm and pleasing manner might just be a gift you give them for life.