My ex-wife screwed me in the divorce and she and the therapist that setup our 70/30 parenting plan knew it. They were not basing their plans on science, but on "what's best for the kids" mythology that has been perpetuated since my parents got a divorce 49 years ago.
It will take a long time for me to rebuild my relationship with the kids, but I will. And they will know the story of this angry divorce saga over time. They will ask about "what happened?" They will ask about the lies.
What ended up happening when I pushed on the broken parts of the relationship is she began to exit emotionally and avoid any opportunities to be alone, where we might have time to discuss what was going on. She took to falling asleep in the kid's beds rather than returning to me.
Divorce is painful enough. Let's all share the pain equally and stop putting dads in the straightjacket of the SPO and the typical child support agreement.
I cannot excuse my then-wife for taking the easy way out. Divorce is never easy. I cannot forgive my wife for snickering in the counselor's office when I asked for a 50/50 parenting schedule and showed my research and several calendar options. I cannot forgive her for making such a selfish decision that went against everything we agreed to in our marriage.
Today, the law serves the best interest of the kids and the mom. Dad is seen as the breadwinner, and thus the "paycheck" for divorcing moms who are showed the divorce brochure and the good deal they are being offered.
The deadbeat mom uses the custodial system and family law to not only get what she wants but to damage her ex-partner in the process.
I often pontificate that my ex-wife is angry because she didn't get the happiness she imagined by moving her cheese from one man to a different man. She got everything she wanted in the divorce: the house, the child support payment + insurance for the kids, and the 70/30 parenting schedule, and still she's not happy.