I was showing myself that I was emerging from one of the longest depressions I've been in as an adult. For me, creativity and brain health go hand in hand. So I'm happy to be back, still working, but on the upswing.
My most recent bouts of depression were triggered by my divorce, but it's a lifelong journey for me. I can drink. I can stop drinking. But I'm not sure how good I am at getting sad and not turning on the sadness fire hose at the first sign of things going off.
That's why she turned you over to the AG's office. She'd rather not deal with you at all.
Another year begins. My daughter is on to Volleyball, Basketball and Track/Tennis. And we're all back to our 70/30 routine. And I've got nothing to complain about and plenty to be grateful for.
It was a reality I could not manage. In the end, it was a reality that should've split us up and did. I am now free to have a relationship with a woman who enjoys life, and who wakes up laughing as I do.
If I can leverage that into some measure of hopefulness, then I am well along my path of recovery. I don't have to aim for joy when I am activated and functioning properly.
I'm coming out of my illness and beginning to feel my hopefulness again. But I'm not able to climb a quarter-mile hill right out of the gate, my first five minutes on a bike. It takes some time to build up to that. My friend who sold me his used bike said, "Start out in the flats, build up to it."
We have all done a lot of prep work to get here. There is no sadness at what we are leaving behind, even as the new ship is bare walls and survival systems only, at this point.