Do you get frustrated when you're not in the highly-functional and kicking-ass zone? I am happiest when I'm in the 6's and 7's. But I'm learning to love myself even when I'm in the 3's.
I have a deep appreciation for my ex-wife and her own personal struggles in the divorce. I do hope you find happiness. And as our last child exits your house, I hope you are able to enter a new chapter of your life, where I am not the bad guy.
As I licked my wounds alone, I could only imagine the parties that were still going on in my old house. The bathtime fun, the friends over on the weekends, the breakfast and dinner routines. Time. That is the real loss in a divorce. My ex-wife got most of it. I got the dregs on alternating weekends.
Go easy on yourself when you're not at your best. A lot of people are not at their best today. A lot of people never reach 110% velocity. Give thanks that you can get so high on life, and chill out when you fall below the uber-winning beast mode that makes you feel so excited.
We've been divorced for over eight years. Our son has just turned 18 and is heading to college next year. We're not really co-parenting, but our kids are doing just fine. And as they grow older, they are seeking a renewed relationship with me.
I agreed to be a part-time dad. I learned to focus on my own life and rebuilding my hobbies and passions outside of being a parent or a husband. It has been a difficult journey. I celebrate my kids when I can and as best I can, but a huge portion of their lives was given away when I agreed to less than 50/50 parenting.
We could've separated and agreed to a 50/50 parenting and 50/50 custody schedule as I requested. That was more in keeping with the way we parented. But it did not match up with my then-wife's objectives. Those "options" she learned about from the attorney, rather than the options about staying in the relationship she could've learned in the couple's therapy.
Always treat your co-parent with respect and compassion. A metaphor for co-parenting might be, "Treat them as well as you do a convenience store clerk." You want to get in and get out with as little hassle as possible.