As a single parent dating again, things have changed for me over the last eight years. I was so energetic about finding and consummating the relationship. Now, I'm more aware at how sex, and my drive for sex, color the texture and honesty in the relationship.
When you are involved in something vigorous, your attention and judgment are often heightened. You are more likely to get a true read on a partner while you are playing tennis, for example.
What am I willing to give up to be WITH someone. What would "tonight" look like if there were another person waiting in the wings to spend time with me.
I believe the quest for love is a spiritual journey. Either your deliberate and intentional about it, or you are just screwing around.
If you are not overtly focused on finding your next long-term relationship, by all means, play around in the online dating pool. Learn some skills. Kiss some frogs. But when you get serious about finding a partner, well, set your intentions and your standards a lot higher.
Start with what gets you most jazzed in your life. Find another person who enjoys the same thing. Engage in that activity with this "friend" and see if you are both drawn towards the idea of dating.
Sure, In online dating we all want to put our best foot forward, and make younger and prettier partners desire us, but if we're all doing that, if we're all being inauthentic... Well, that's part of the problem.
I do believe I am enough. I am practicing mindfulness and self-care in a way that encourages my own inner confidence. And, in my real measure of attractiveness, I'm really joyful.