Here's the truth: I can't make you happier. I can't give you energy at the end of your work week or workday. I can't feel sensual when the feedback from you is "tired, overwhelmed, frustrated."
There are plenty of single parents who use their kids to get out of almost every obligation. Even obligations to themselves, for say... exercise, dating, taking responsibility for their own actions. And I have been the dad who apologized for checking his phone when a text dinged while on a date.
And, as far as I can plan, I'm planning to go with my lover. Even my aspirational goals consider her. Happiness is far better when shared.
I understand not being ready for a relationship. I understand taking your time getting to know someone. And I'm glad she did seek me out so we could have a few of these illuminating conversations in-person, but it's clear to me she was NOT a touch-oriented person, and as I asked about her love language twice, that was enough to trigger the "not developing" email.
You deserve a great life. You deserve a huge bonfire of love and happiness. The Sparks are right inside you. The kindling of your life and the power of your attention are all you need to light your fire. Light it.
The thrill of getting to a second date... Well, don't blow it. Just be cool. Don't lead to fast or too far. Take your signals from your date. Listen intently for emotional intelligence. Are they telling stories about past relationships, or future ideas, or work, or working out?
I hope you meet a lot of nice people out there. But don't be fooled by their looks, their profile statements, or their fluent email banter. Go for the face-to-face meeting with as little hassle and energy as possible. If it becomes difficult to land the date, for whatever reason, move on. If they wanted to meet they would also be trying to make it happen, not giving excuses.
There are plenty of fit and fantastic-looking people using online dating. 99% of them will not give you the time of day. That's okay. You only need ONE YES to change your life.