In a seemingly random and brutal series of events, my life began a transformative reorientation. I was praying as hard as I could. I was working an entry-level job (that I loved by the way) at a local specialty grocery store, and... horror of all horrors was/am living with my 85 yo, mom.
I've found it very helpful to remain in the present moment when dating someone new. Try NOT to jump into the future scenarios, the "what ifs" and "what abouts." And when you are thinking that you both want the same thing, do some reality testing.
I'm a handful. I'm whimsical. I'm capricious. I have a lot of irons in the fire. And, sure, I demand a woman with a high level of confidence and well-seasoned experience in relationship building. We've got to both be into the evolution of becoming a couple.
Divorce is hard. Dating after divorce is tricky too, and I've found some things I think are good indicators of how whole a person is, and how ready they are…
Maybe this is what women feel all the time. The men are sizing them up as they might size up a meal. I'm hungry, but I'm interested in a woman who stays YES first. THEN I will show her my Tiger.
At this point in my life, 8 years divorced with two teenage kids, I have a lot of life ahead of me. As I see this woman standing beside me, I see a partner who can join with me in my dreams, who can challenge me in my beliefs and fallacies, and who is solid enough in her own life path that she shares joy and confidence in our potential lives together.
What can you tell by waking up beside a new potential partner? Do you think early impressions, early connections/disconnections have an impact on the longer relationship potential?
I can still have those lusty feelings, recognize them for what they are, appreciate the woman who triggered them, and the move on with my life as I am rebuilding it.