If you find yourself thinking or saying, I'd be happy if you'd just... You need to get over the request and focus on yourself. If NOTHING CHANGES, would you be able to stay in this relationship? If the answer is no, you've got work todo.
What am I willing to give up to be WITH someone. What would "tonight" look like if there were another person waiting in the wings to spend time with me.
In a seemingly random and brutal series of events, my life began a transformative reorientation. I was praying as hard as I could. I was working an entry-level job (that I loved by the way) at a local specialty grocery store, and... horror of all horrors was/am living with my 85 yo, mom.
Walk away from the burning building slowly and without panic. You didn't cause the fire, and you certainly can cure the fire starter. It's best to bless former date, wish them well, and step back into the fishing boat. Sadly, sometimes, even with a ton of potential, there's just nothing else to be done.
I didn't need a horrible family life to get my act together. That's what happened in my childhood, and this is who I am as a result, but it might have been different. Let me take a run at having a relationship that starts out with a healthy bias rather than one of recovery and repressed emotions.
What can you tell by waking up beside a new potential partner? Do you think early impressions, early connections/disconnections have an impact on the longer relationship potential?
There is no rescue coming for you. I am not a hero. I am a solitary man, sitting in my own pain around the current gap, and I am working like hell (writing, meditating, exercising, coaching, praying) to heal my own troubled heart.
I can still have those lusty feelings, recognize them for what they are, appreciate the woman who triggered them, and the move on with my life as I am rebuilding it.