Divorce is hard. Dating after divorce is tricky too, and I've found some things I think are good indicators of how whole a person is, and how ready they are…
Everything is great. My kids are great. My ex is great. And my, you are great too. I'm so happy. I'm the most positive person most of my friends have ever met. I just radiate this positive energy. "You can feel it, right?" Stand back from Mr. Yes.
At this point in my life, 8 years divorced with two teenage kids, I have a lot of life ahead of me. As I see this woman standing beside me, I see a partner who can join with me in my dreams, who can challenge me in my beliefs and fallacies, and who is solid enough in her own life path that she shares joy and confidence in our potential lives together.
Back to the bare walls and rebuilding from nothing. Back to the feelings of being booted from my former "happy life" as a dad and husband, and into some unknown, stripped bare, emotional roller coaster of the last 8 years of my life.
When did monogamy become a negative term? Today a Google search of that term brings up a lot of snarky posts about things like "unable to spend any time alone"…
Get it or not, Tinder is booming. And my experience with two actual in-person meetings was surprisingly good. One hit and one miss. Unfortunately, the hit turned into a false positive, but that's also part of the game.
Being alone is one of the huge bummers of getting a divorce. If you're touch-centered, as I am, the lack of touch is deathly. Hugging hug piles of pillows when I go to bet simulates a lover, but does nothing to fulfill the warmth and closeness needs that many of us have. So what do you do when you're lonely?
You've gotta get out there to get over yourself. It's in the relating to a real woman in a real setting that things might become interesting.