So with that, even for a week, I am — in theory — off the market, off eHarmony, off the matching of match.com. Because all that “dating” crap is really distracting when what you really want is a friend, not a date.
At this point in my life, 8 years divorced with two teenage kids, I have a lot of life ahead of me. As I see this woman standing beside me, I see a partner who can join with me in my dreams, who can challenge me in my beliefs and fallacies, and who is solid enough in her own life path that she shares joy and confidence in our potential lives together.
The love that rebreaks your broken parts so you can rebuild with trust and closeness. The BIG LOVE is a concept, but I'm going to outline how it's also a process for finding the BIG LOVE in your life.
My goal, as a good dad, is to be available emotionally and physically to my kids all the time. They know where I stand. I've never bad-mouthed their mom. And as they continue to grow and mature into adults, I'm back to having an equal opportunity to be with them.
So, let's at least say, online dating is complicated. Even when we think we have our preferences and objectives clear in our mind, our animal drives can subvert our rational minds.
A woman's desire is different. Her needs are different as well. And if you can tune into what your woman needs, what warms her up, and what sets her on fire, you can apply the aphrodisiac of being present for her, and get more of your desires and fantasies met as well.
If I am genuinely looking for a relationship and not just a date, then my concept of holding out for resonance becomes more critical. I've had a resonant partner once before. I know how that feels and how transformative that can be for both people. Anything less than that is a distraction.
Get right with yourself before moving on to partner with another person. You'll be much more attractive to other healthy people, and better equipped to see and avoid negative relationships.