Stay in the moment. When one of you feels a disturbance in the force, speak up. Ask for the repair. Illuminate the differences and the misconnections that occurred. And set some ideas, goals, phrases, that can remind you in the future when I similar situation or disconnection happens.
If she doesn't' respond to my daughter, why would I think she's going to respond or even be friendly to me? I don't think about it much, anymore. It's so much more obvious as we now enter the 10th year of our co-parenting journey, that she really is a bit self-centered.
I did learn to love full-on in this marriage. I learned to put my whole soul into the project and come back with the joy of being a parent, and being in love, and being married. This total commitment is part of what blindsided me in the divorce.
We could've separated and agreed to a 50/50 parenting and 50/50 custody schedule as I requested. That was more in keeping with the way we parented. But it did not match up with my then-wife's objectives. Those "options" she learned about from the attorney, rather than the options about staying in the relationship she could've learned in the couple's therapy.