We need our dads to show up for us, as well as our moms. And when the dad is removed from a family, with the SPO, the balance is shifted dramatically in favor of the "mom as the emotional center" of everyone's lives.
I'm not a men's rights activist but am a DADS LIVES MATTER advocate. This game is rigged and the courts know it, the wives know it, and the divorce attorney's who'd rather represent the moms, know it. But that's not the way it should be.
Dads do get the short end of the deal most of the time in divorce. Wives get the house, the kids, and the lion's share of the money. Dad's... Well, we get a hefty child-support payment and if we're successful, we can afford a small enough place that can still hold our kids and ourselves.
There's no good way to share that the holidays are a tough time for me. I will be looking after my own health and happiness much of this season, to assure that no meltdown occurs in my life. But I will also leave some of my bandwidth open for my kids.
It's hard to understand where the anger comes from, so I don't try. Let's just say she's still mad at me, six years after the divorce. Hmm. Am I still…
This morning I give thanks for the flexibility and caring my ex-wife shows me and my kids when they ask for some new connection. We've both worked hard to get here. And as we work better together everyone benefits.
Hitting delete instead of send can make all the difference. I had another one of those moments this morning. An email from the mother of my children saying some passive-aggressive things…
Divorced dads have a lot harder time staying involved in their kids' lives, even with they make every effort, keep every appointment, and ask for more time then they are given with them, post-divorce. I am that dad.