Over time, as adults, we develop coping mechanisms, strategies, action plans, for dealing with our own shit. Either we get pretty good at it, or we don't. When we're not very good at maintaining our own emotional boundaries, things begin to come out sideways.
How do you find your community? Can you bring more creative energy to your life path? Do you know what things give you aspirational ideas? How can you begin to celebrate and nurture your own Alive Tribe?
If we can rise above our present distress and the distractions of our disappointments, we can appreciate all the layers of the present moment. It's all cake. It may not all be delicious. But our attitude about the cake colors every one of our present moments. It's our attitude about the cake we're being served that gives us the freedom from suffering.
There's no hard and fast rule about when it will happen, but eventually, you will be forced to make plans, long-term plans, with your partner. What sort of things do you need to decide together?
she was brave she was smiling she knew this was the moment for her to explore vigorously
I have approached dating as a process to identify, qualify, and ultimately partner with a single woman. The dating part is essential, but dating is not the goal. Sex is essential, but sex, also, is not the goal. Working to identify and explore a combination of these three factors, is how I am navigating my approach to finding my next long-term relationship.
Stay in the moment. When one of you feels a disturbance in the force, speak up. Ask for the repair. Illuminate the differences and the misconnections that occurred. And set some ideas, goals, phrases, that can remind you in the future when I similar situation or disconnection happens.
We've all got issues. Let's own them. Let's take those bastards out and flog them until they no longer flog and confuse us. Own your issues.