Zen often offers lovely koans that make us feel good for a moment, enlightened for a nanosecond, and then drops us back into the awareness that "oh, it's a FB…
I am the one. She was not the one. There will be another one. Until I am again, the only one. Alone I stand, again. An adventurer of the heart and soul. "Let's Go!"
There is no bridge that's going to make our relationship work again, so my longing necessarily stayed in my own heart. There is no sense in sharing our desires and hopes when the other person is not available. It only makes it hurt worse.
As long as we are getting closer, and we are learning from our relationship mistakes, we can pick ourselves up after a breakup, knowing that we gave 100%. And, more importantly, we are closer and better equipped for the next potential partner that agrees to join us in "the arena."
I wrote goodbye letters to my former fiancé. I dug into my feelings and sat there, not really sure what actions to take. So I stayed still. I sat with the feelings. I prayed and meditated. I ate three meals a day and walked in the brutal Texas heat. And I kept going.