As long as we are getting closer, and we are learning from our relationship mistakes, we can pick ourselves up after a breakup, knowing that we gave 100%. And, more importantly, we are closer and better equipped for the next potential partner that agrees to join us in "the arena."
Your future is in creating the secure attachment you've always wanted and deserved.
By allowing you to experience and process your own distress, without my interference, I am giving you the utmost respect. I am viewing you as whole, strong, and capable. And in my affirmation of you and your inherent ability to be strong and sufficient, I am reaffirming my belief in you.
"I understand I have disappointed you. And that's okay. You are disappointed. Let's talk about what we're going to do next."
The trick in keeping your relationship vibrant and healthy, is to micro correct towards each other, towards the join between you. By showing your partner you are willing to own and handle the little issues that come up during the course of a week, you are giving them assurances that you can do the same over the longer trajectory of your relationship.
It is not our job to fix broken relationships or broken people. Our job is to show up in the arena of a relationship and do the best we possibly can to love and be loved.
As we continue to go for a lifetime lover, we've got to be prepared to learn, study, grow, stretch, and reach back to our lovers for the REPAIR. Either partner can go for the repair. And both partners should work towards the repair, even if the bridge is collapsed in smoldering ruins.
Even if our partners ask us to send lawyers, guns, and money, we need to stay on our own path and offer them an empathetic ear and a solid base of loving AND SILENT support.