Tag Archives: boyhood review

Staying Positive and Becoming Whole – OverDivorce Podcast

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John McElhenney joined us to talk about how he was able to develop a positive perspective while he was going through his divorce. John is a single dad who lives and writes in Austin, Texas. John is also the Divorce editor of The Good Men Project and is a contributing writer for the Huffington Post. During the show we talk about:

  • John’s epiphany that radically changed his thoughts about being a father in a positive way.
  • How he got clarity about making decisions during his divorce.
  • His realization about becoming a “Whole Parent” and the most important thing that he did to become one.
  • How John processed his emotions while going through his divorce so that negative thoughts wouldn’t impact his kids.
  • Learn John’s mental “Judo move” that changed his mind set about his divorce.
  • How your kids view what you are doing during your divorce and how that will impact their lives.
  • How he talked to his kids about some of the good things that came out of his divorce for him and his ex-wife.
  • John talks about how his parents’ divorce impacted him on how he was going to handle his own divorce.
  • How writing and journaling helps you get perspective on your thoughts and relieves some of the depression that comes with divorce.
  • How he was able to grieve during his divorce.
  • 3 things that John did so that he could cope with his divorce. These are techniques that John used to keep him distracted and let him have fun.

John recommends Brené Brown’s book Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead

Go Listen Now: The OverDivorce Podcast: The Positive Divorce by John McElhenney

Always Love,

John McElhenney

Back to Positive Divorce

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A Different Side of Boyhood: Celebrating Divorced Families

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[CONGRATULATIONS to Richard and the entire cast and crew of Boyhood for the massive showing tonight at the Golden Globes. You deserved it!]

Boyhood, Richard Linklater’s new movie, is beautiful and profound. One of the nicest things about it, as a tone poem of growing up, is that nothing dramatic really happens. It’s just life as usual, with the same usual suspects, divorced mom and dad, a few alcoholics sprinkled in for drama, and then life, the long haul, long view of life.

It’s really cool that both the dad (Ethan Hawke) and mom (Patricia Arquette) are lovable characters, just trying to do their best as parents of two growing kids. Both parents are doing their best at showing up, and at getting on with their own lives. Not since Alice Doesn’t Live Here Anymore,  have we had a more romantic vision of the single mom doing her best to get by. And Arquette does a fantastic job at showing the struggles and epiphanies of the single mom.

I’m a bit closer to my ex-wife now, having seen a glimpse into her life. I know we’re both doing the best we can. And Boyhood celebrates that triumph both alone and together.

For me, the poem was a love letter to this single mom. Sure, the son is the “boy” of Boyhood, but the mom is the anchor that holds things together. She’s the one who tries to make a better life for her brood, even when the father has exited the scene. That’s what moms do. I get it.

And LInklater does a great job at showing us the grit of divorced life. There are so many scenes in our kids lives now, that we miss completely. There are celebrations we will never see, because our kids are with the other parent. It’s okay, we survive.

Divorce is a typical part of our landscape these days. I assume that the successful marriage, launching two kids off to college is more rare than the divorced melange we see in Boyhood.

We get a view into the secret lives of these kids as they make their way through growing up. Linklater gives us front row center seats for the awkwardness it all. We get to experience the feeling again, of what it was like, through the eyes of the characters.

Hat’s off to Linklater and his Boyhood movie. And to the cast who did the wonderful screenplay justice. I’m a bit closer to my ex-wife now, having seen a glimpse into her life. I know we’re both doing the best we can. And Boyhood celebrates that triumph both alone and together.

Always Love,

John McElhenney

back to positive divorce

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image: Patricia Arquette in Boyhood