My role now is very similar to my non-custodial dad role. I don't have a lot of time or opportunities to engage with my kids. I have to reach out. Keep reaching out. And let go of any outcome.
Allow the hurricane to arrive and blow away the old aspects of your lives. Reset your expectations and parenting lives around the love and support of your children. Then, even if things don't work out with the marriage, the closeness and love that you've established with your kids, becomes the strength and bond that guides your relationship even after divorce.